She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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