I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
