Do you still have your period?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
