it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
