No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
smell my finger.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
