We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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