Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
