so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
