Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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