I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.