your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I intend to get homeless drunk
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
