Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
