does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
