I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
