I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
