she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
