He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
