I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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