Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
