Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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