I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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