Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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