I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
