I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
