OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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