she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
