Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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