There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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