When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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