We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
