i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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