Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
