I hate all girls vehemently.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
