nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize