I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
