Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
