Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
