found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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