i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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