Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You have to summon your inner elephant
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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