o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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