i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
