Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
