I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
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