Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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