time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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