oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
