look no pants
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
