After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
