Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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