I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
