the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
