sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
