oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
