She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
