If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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