:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize