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The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
