if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
