So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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