are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize