When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
