I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
