I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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