ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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