Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
