i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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